The Approval Addiction: How To Overcome Other People’s Opinions

You don’t remember when it started—you just know it’s been there as long as you’ve been alive.

The pressure to look good. To act right. To be the version of yourself that makes other people comfortable.

Your house could’ve been a disaster all week—but let someone say they’re stopping by, and you’re in a cleaning frenzy like the Queen is coming for tea. Your childhood wardrobe wasn’t about what you liked—it was about what your parents thought made you (or sometimes them) look good. And if you ever saw your parents at home vs. around people? Night and day. They wore two different faces—one for the world, and one for the house. You were taught early: image matters more than authenticity.

And now? We’ve become masters of the mask.

We filter our lives to make them more “palatable.” We post the wins, not the wounds. We chase careers that sound impressive or pay the most, even if they drain us dry. We buy cars we can’t afford to impress people who don’t even wave when we pass. We say yes when we want to scream no. We shrink ourselves to keep the peace. We inflate ourselves to gain approval. Either way, we’re not being ourselves.

But, as much as we twist, turn, and tailor ourselves to fit someone else’s opinion—it’s never enough.

We clean up, and they still point out what we missed.
We succeed, and they say we could’ve done more.
We share our truth, and they still find a flaw.
Because the real problem isn’t you. It’s that you were never meant to fit into their frame.

Living for Likes and Losing Your Life

You might not even realize how deeply people’s opinions are running your life until you start questioning your own decisions.

Why did I take that job?
Why do I feel the need to post this?
Why am I nervous to speak up in that room?
Why do I feel guilty for resting?

The approval addiction is the silent habit of shaping your life, choices, and identity around other people’s expectations—sacrificing your authenticity just to avoid their disappointment.

We’ve been so programmed to gain approval, we don’t even realize we’ve handed the pen to someone else to write our story. It’s like we’ve built our lives inside a glass house—and everyone watching feels entitled to throw a stone.

But living for other people’s approval is the fastest way to abandon your own calling.

And still—they won’t be satisfied.

They’ll always want more. Want different. Want you to change to make them feel better. It’s soul-draining. Because the more you try to become who they want, the further you drift from who you are.

Your Life. Your Calling. Your Impact.

You were never meant to be a people-pleasing puppet on strings pulled by public opinion. You were created on purpose, for a purpose. And your journey—messy, beautiful, broken, brilliant—is part of that purpose.

That means your flaws? They’re not liabilities. They’re lessons.
Your pain? It’s not a disqualification. It’s your power.
Your voice? It doesn’t need to sound like theirs. It just needs to be heard by the right ears.

Because your audience is waiting.

There are people only you can reach. People who need your story, your strength, your perspective. If you dim your light to make others comfortable, you rob them of the light they desperately need.

Let them misunderstand you. Let them talk. Let them scroll past. That just means they’re not your assignment. But someone is.

How to Break Free from People’s Opinions

1. Catch the Voice Behind the Decision
Before you say yes, post, apply, or change—ask: “Am I doing this for me, or for how I’ll be perceived?”

2. Embrace Your Flaws Like a Flex
Own your quirks, scars, and awkward past. They’re not baggage—they’re backstory. And backstory makes you relatable, not rejectable.

3. Write Down What You Want
Not what they expect. What you desire. Career. Lifestyle. Values. Then measure your choices against that.

4. Set Boundaries with Critics
Not everyone gets a front row seat to your process. If they tear down more than they build up, it’s time to create space.

5. Remind Yourself Who You’re Called to Be
Not a clone. Not a performer. Not their expectation. You’re a one-of-one, designed with Godly intention.

You Were Never Meant to Be a Mirror

You’re not here to reflect everyone else’s opinions. You’re here to radiate the truth of who you are.

Stop editing yourself to make other people more comfortable with who you are.
You don’t owe the world a performance.
You owe it your presence.

And the moment you stop chasing approval, you start living with authority.

You don’t need to win them over.
You just need to stop losing yourself.

Notes

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” – Galatians 1:10

“The fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” – Proverbs 29:25

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.” – Matthew 5:14

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.” – Ephesians 2:10

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” – Psalm 139:14

“Let us throw off everything that hinders… and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” – Hebrews 12:1